The quarter life crisis.
I think I’ve hit it. Actually, I think I probably hit it a few days before I first started this blog (haven’t updated it since October 2015 and it’s currently August 2016…) so it seems my blogging days were quite short lived.
It’s hard to find a unique niche. Complete a quick Google search of “how to work from home” and that will pretty much sum up my attempts since my last posting. From first attempting to blog (4 random & completely unrelated posts all under the pretense of my dog counts, right?) to participating in research studies (currently have an X Box live watching all of my husband and I’s tv watching habits for $50 bucks a month) to dappling in the world of Multi-Level Marketing (MLM) companies (Young Living Essential Oils to be specific, which by the way are AMAZING–however, the business side of things? Yeahhh not so much..maybe a full separate post on that later).
Let’s just say I’ve been doing my darndest to be a stay at home Morkie Mama to Romeo.
After repeated crash and burn attempts — And I mean full blown excited and full of energy attempts — I have taken time for introspection, and have finally reached my clarity and found insight into my quarter life crisis..
Bahahahahahaahah ohhh no, no clarity here. Not even close.
But actually, what I did decide to do was think about why I’ve been so hyper-focused on being able to “work from home”. Besides my work friends (who btw I hope to the lord are not still reading this rambling–please save me some self respect & just shut the page down now por favor) do any of my faithful followers (#besidesmysister) know what I do for work? To be completely honest, I actually have a KICK ASS job. I’m dead serious. I get to work at quite possibly the cutest school in the entire country as an occupational therapist. If I won the lottery I’d probably still want to work there–or at least at a place exactly like it (only I’d pawn off the IEPs, 3 year reports, actually probably all documentation, and likely give myself a nice 10:30am -1pm schedule).
But seriously, no jokes aside, I feel fulfilled by my job. I love the kids. Plus my coworkers (who all at this point should NOT be reading 😉 are easy to not just get along with but have become people I trust with my secrets and my friendship. I absolutely love working with kids with special needs and physical disabilities. All of my favorite jobs involve(d) kids with cerebral palsy, muscular dystrophy, or other medically fragile conditions. Some people who don’t know what I do say “oh I could never do that” or “doesn’t that make you sad?” I’m being 100% genuine when I say working with this population brings me sincere pride and happiness.
So what gives? Why in the world am I having a year long quarter life crisis? Is this a crisis? Does midlife count if I’m turning 28 in a few months or did I miss the boat 3 years ago? I love my job so obviously this “work from home” thing is a coverup for something a little deeper.
Let’s break this down real quick:
Dream job? Check!
Beautiful house with fancy new kitchen? Check!
Loving family? Double check (marriage has brought me a new family too 🙂
Fabulous husband and cute morkie? Check times a million!
So seriously tho what gives?? My life on paper reads beautifully, and yet I spend a ridiculous amount of hours on Trulia looking for houses (weird because, I LOVE our house) or looking up jobs online (again, weird because we just learned I LOVE my job).
I still don’t think I fully understand the answer, but I think it might stem from control. I can control where to live. I can control where to work. As the months of this year long “quarter life crisis” tick by, I think I am starting to slowly understand why I am craving this need for control and order. For almost a year now I’ve been working continuously on an important goal, and in this situation I have had very little control…could that be it? Have I figured out the cause of my quarter life crisis?! Not too sure, but it’s worth exploring! More on that next time.