In college my OT cohort decided to do superlatives for a cute farewell for our graduation. And I was voted Class Optimist.
Being optimistic by nature has made my life pretty awesome. I tend to overlook the bad and focus on the good. In general this has been a handy tool in most areas of life.
Recently, being optimistic has been getting more difficult. For 17 months now I have been 100% hopeful and excited each month. The bad news? For 17 months straight I’ve had a piece of my heart broken.
And I kind of feel like I’ve turned into Jekyll and Hyde. One side of me is still 100% positive we will have a baby–month 18 would be perfect! And the other side of me has built up a wall. Each month of being crushed has built my wall up another layer. It’s this very strange balance of being completely devestated and yet also feeling bulletproof.
I wish I had a fantastic message for this post. Or words of insight. I’ve tried updating this blog several time and keep falling short of what exactly to type. I just hope I can keep staying optimistic.
Until then Ryan and I have developed our 10 year plan to adopt dozens of morkie puppies should plans go awry.